Positive Discipline is a program developed by Dr. Jane Nelsen. It is based on the work of Alfred Adler and Rudolf Dreikurs and designed to teach young people to become responsible, respectful and resourceful members of their communities.
Positive Discipline teaches important social and life skills in a manner that is deeply respectful and encouraging for both children and adults.
I began to study positive discipline, apply it to my family, and it is the best thing I have been able to do in my life. We improved a lot our coexistence, the fights, shouting, conflicts were reduced considerably and the quality of life improved a lot.
Currently, we apply positive discipline every day and we are very happy as do millions of families around the world.
What is it about? Well, it is a philosophy of life that teaches us to have a very assertive communication. We should not speak in any way to our children.
This philosophy tells us that: At what point do we think that in order for someone to collaborate and make good decisions, we have to make them feel bad?
Punishment works in the short term, but it makes you feel bad and brings very negative feelings. So here we have another option, which is the logical and natural consequences.
We learn that rules, routines and family meetings are the basis for providing wonderful lessons for life. Such as responsibility, autonomy, kindness, etc....
We must understand that we as parents are guides, not saviors.
You may ask yourself, why do I have to repeat things over and over again to my children, they don't seem to listen to me. Well, I ask you, how much addition and subtraction did you have to do in math to learn? How much did an athlete have to train and being able to reach the Olympic Games? Or how much did a president have to study? Education is repeating over and over again because it is our only way of learning. It is like sowing seeds, the real results and fruits will be seen in the future, the important thing here is, what seeds are you sowing in your home?
We cannot remove the stones from our children's path because what we do there is to remove the learning, the human being by nature learns from the consequences, we have to let our children live their lives with us guiding them not living for them, that is why the importance of always giving a good example.
Having a balance between kindness and firmness is one of the most important concepts of this philosophy.
I cannot teach my son not to hit if I hit him, I cannot teach him to manage his emotions if I always lose control in front of him. It is not good to be excessively permissive or too strict, we have to balance between kindness and firmness to have the good of both sides.
Positive discipline lead us to have many reflections and to learn from the experience, because when we put ourselves in the child's shoes everything changes.
There is a phrase that says, tell me something and I will forget it, teach me something and I will remember it, make me participate in the experience and I will learn and understand it. Everyone has challenges and there is no perfect family, in this respect, in positive discipline we never look for perfection since mistakes are wonderful learning opportunities.
When the child makes a mistake, we say, good! This is the perfect opportunity to teach him about... Responsibility, compassion, good treatment, or some important quality.
So in summary it is a philosophy focused on teaching life skills, having a very assertive communication and above all a kind, respectful but firm treatment at the same time.
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