Imagine that your child is in a dark room and he starts walking, then he touch a wall, so, he feels safe, he supports himself on that wall, let's imagine that wall is the rules of our house, but, Oh dear! That wall starts to move, or sometimes it's there and sometimes not, if this happens, our children will feel very insecure and will not follow any rules at all, since, they are not consistent and coherent. Children need very clear rules to be calm and feel that the environment in which they are is safe.
When you already have the rules of your house and your children do not follow any of them, the best option is to focus on solutions to solve the situation. For example, a rule may be to share or take turns with the tv and toys in case two people want to have the same thing. But two brothers break it and start fighting, so the solution may be that they will not be able to have the thing that they are fighting until they find an optimal solution to that situation.
Another rule may be to treat everyone with kindness and respect. If someone treats another family member badly, a solution might be to have to apologize and do something positive for that person to make them feel good.
Be careful, all these rules and solutions must be created in a family meeting and everyone must agree with them, they must be fair and take into account everyone's needs.
When you have to enforce one solution you must be very kind and firm. You can say: “Honey, I see that you are not following this rule, you already know what is the solution in this case, right? Sorry, but we agreed that this and this have to be done.
Society is full of rules, if these do not exist we could not live in harmony. These solutions to the situations should not be seen as punishments, they should comply with the 3R1H and have been created in the family meeting so everyone agrees with them, they will be fair and will be taking in to account the needs of all family members, this is why family meetings should be considered a serious thing.
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